When It Feels Right by Tagan Shepard

Author:Tagan Shepard [Shepard, Tagan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Bold Strokes Books
Published: 2023-04-02T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Seventeen

When Abby arrived home after a long day at her studio and an even longer evening helping Austin rearrange her living room, she expected the house to be dark and silent. Well, not dark. Marlene always left the lights on for her, even when she was working at Riveter’s and wouldn’t be home until so late it was actually early. None of her exes had never done that.

As Abby climbed the stairs, she flipped off the lights behind her, each switch reminding her how thoughtful Marlene could be. It wasn’t just the lights. Abby hadn’t had to pour herself a cup of coffee in weeks. She hadn’t unloaded the dishwasher in ages either, and Marlene washed her towels any time she did a load of linens. She didn’t even ask, she just did it.

Abby was well-aware that she was heading into dangerous territory here. Marlene was thoughtful, sure, but in every other substantive way she was just like Josie. Just like Daniella and Christine, too. She was just as uptight and career driven. Just as methodical and logical. The same personality type of all the exes who had broken Abby’s heart. The personality type that loved the idea of adventure, but thrived on the mundane.

Everything about Marlene fit the mold. Even the lesbian lessons. They were Marlene’s attempt to fit her sexual awakening into a box she understood. An attempt to logic her way out of the intensity of her feelings. Abby would never fit into one of those boxes Marlene needed to survive. Any relationship between them wouldn’t last.

The knowledge dragged at Abby’s steps, but, if she was honest with herself, it wasn’t enough. She chastised herself even as she smiled. She didn’t fit into those neat boxes. She wasn’t ordered and logical. Which was why she would still try with Marlene. She was going to fall hard for this sweet, sexy woman and she would get her heart broken again. But it wouldn’t stop her. She couldn’t help herself. When something felt right, she just went for it. One of the many ways her relationships were doomed from the start.

When she climbed the last stair into the living room, she was surprised to find it occupied. Marlene was snuggled into her corner of the couch, her eyes zipping across the page of a crisp new paperback. She was so absorbed in the book, she didn’t notice Abby arrive. She remained hyper focused on the story, her legs tucked up close to her chest and the pages turned toward the warm glow of the lamp on the side table.

Abby watched her for a moment. Her body was just as tense as always, curled as it was into a tight ball. For the first time, however, Abby recognized the tension as intensity. She was lost in the fictional world on the page. Completely transfixed. There was a passion in that to which Abby could relate. A single-mindedness at odds with the logical, mundane existence she’d just been contemplating. Josie had never read like that.

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